31 Mar “In Your Moments of Decision”
"In Your Moments of Decision, your destiny is shaped" - Tony Robbins.
It is something that I have always believed and never has it been more apparent than at this time in my life.
Rewind a few months short of FIFTY years that have passed in the blink of an eye and I am to be found, as often as not, sitting in an armchair watching the world pass me by.
A golf Professional at Blackwell Golf Club in Worcestershire - imparting wisdom to beginners and those more experienced.
The phone rings on a Friday morning in November.
"I'd like to book a golf lesson, please."
"Let me check my diary" was my standard response.
"I'm coming anyway" wasn't something that I'd heard before, but enthusiasm shouldn't be dampened.
2.00 pm on that Friday in November - it was then that life irrevocably changed for both of us.
I'll write something of length one day but for now that story took us to Belsize Park in London, Windsor and back unfortunately to where it all began. London was our spiritual home and Windsor was nearly, but not quite, good enough.
But moments of decision cost us dear.
I accepted a job as International Sales Manager for a Golf Shaft company in the West Midlands that brought me back and here we have stayed. Much against our better judgement.
Forty two years living together, 29 of them married and apart from early trips of mine to the far-flung corners of the globe hardly a day apart. Certainly not in the 29 years of marriage.
Inseparable doesn't begin to describe it.
When my soul-mate caught Covid and Double Pneumonia in January this year, it required 15 days in hospital. Another 5 days in February but on both occasions I was permitted to stay in her hospital room overnight.
March saw another relatively minor setback and on the advice of her G.P, Angela was taken to hospital for what we thought was a routine check up.
A decision that I will regret for the rest of my life.
Pumped full of drugs in A&E, she was admitted to an All-Female Ward at 4.00a.m and I was sent home.
Determined that she would not be staying, I formally wrote a letter asking that she self-discharge but she was incapable of signing it. She had no idea where she was or what was happening. They wouldn't let her out and finally ended up calling the Police to have me removed from the ward.
So began a 15 day and still counting nightmare for us both.
Visiting hours are 11.00 a.m until 7.00 p.m but 16 hours apart, every day, is killing us. Staff are there to administer medication and prevent mishaps - TLC is non-existent and my vulnerable mate needs it now,more than ever.
Never mind the NHS hospital food that I wouldn't give to a stray dog, or rest that would be more beneficial if sleeping in Terminal Two Heathrow. The most troubling thing is the lack of Humanity and Communication from the Doctors and many of the nursing staff. The Doctors arrive and depart before visiting at 11.00 a.m.
There are some remarkable nurses , but the system is broken beyond repair.
"When a good person meets a bad system, the system always wins." - Frank Voehl.
It's a story for another day, but truly it is in our moments of decision that our destiny is shaped.
Experience comes from making those bad decisions and hopefully we gain wisdom with time.
It's never a good idea to sail through life reacting to events and circumstance. Becoming dependent on the thoughts and actions of others. Much more, it is important to choose carefully who we are and what becomes our reality.
It's a mistake I will never make again.
As it is, I am doing and saying whatever it takes to get us both though this nightmare. The support of some amazing people that I have never even met has been eye-opening. I am eternally grateful.
Thank you Simon, Asif , Paul and especially Christine.
Make wise choices in 2023. It's important because those decisions will shape your destiny.
Thanks for reading.
chris@andsothestorybegan.co.uk
Mob: +44 - 07369251435
Chris.
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